Tangled Up in Implicit Memories I: How We Get Stuck Often people who have had overwhelming experiences—from a car accident to years of emotional abuse—are given the advice to “move on.” While these statements are often well intentioned, they lack an understanding of how trauma actually works. People can not just consciously decide to put these events in the past because remnants of these experiences are stored in the body as implicit memories. Psychologists make a distinction between two basic types of memory. Explicit memories are those that we know are memories. These memories can either be factual (our telephone number and our knowledge that Washington as the first President) or narrative/autobiographical (Jane’s recall of having her first taste of chocolate cake at her birthday party when she was five). Most of the time when we think about memory we are referring to explicit memory. These memories are conscious and verbal, and we can CHOOSE to recall them or not. Implicit memories are unconscious. The most easily understood form of implicit memory is “procedural memory.” These are memories that involve a sequence of coordinated motor acts. We might have a hard time describing these actions verbally, yet we can easily do them once we have learned them. For example, someone might not have played a piano for 15 years but find that when they sit down on a piano bench, they can play a C scale without hesitation (though perhaps not flawlessly). Implicit memories also come in the form of thoughts, emotions and bodily reactions that “triggered” by things that we can’t identify--we do not choose to retrieve them. For example, Jane walks into her friend’s kitchen and all of a sudden feels warm and can taste chocolate cake. Upon reflection, she might realize that these feelings and sensations are because of the positive experiences she had in her childhood sitting at grandmother’s eating chocolate cake. It is important to note that in this example the body reacted with warmth and a taste memory before the conscious recollection. There are other situations where we might not be able to identify the source of certain sensations at all. For example, Jane might suddenly feel agitated at a loud, chaotic rock concert, and she does not realize an implicit memory of her loud, chaotic family of origin is being triggered. She’s confused and embarrassed. Her boyfriend is also confused and annoyed. What is supposed a fun event has been misperceived as a threat. Dangerous and traumatic situations create implicit memories. When we are threatened, the parts of our nervous system responsible for basic survival (such as fight, flight or freeze) take over. These instinctive reactions are remarkably quick and do not involve conscious, higher order cognitive functioning. The frontal lobes of our brain that are responsible for rational, reasoned behavior shut down and our survival brain takes over. During trauma, implicit memories become imprinted in survivor’s brains. The “memories” are then triggered in situations that may only vaguely resemble the traumatic situation to our rational self. At the same time, our body is remembering danger. Trauma survivors often feel panic, dread, despair, numbing, nausea, restlessness, hypervigilance or disconnection. They don’t always realize they are having an implicit memory, but instead, they feel there is something “wrong” with them. The prominent trauma researcher, Dan Siegel, puts it this way in Mindsight : “When the images and sensations of experience remain in ‘implicit-only’ form... they remain in unassembled neural disarray, not tagged as representations derived from the past…Such implicit-only memories continue to shape the subjective feeling we have of our here-and-now realities, the sense of who we are moment to moment…” (2010, p.154). We see then that resolving trauma is not just a matter of picking ourselves up and moving on. Trauma leaves physiological traces in the form of implicit memories that don’t easily go away. But that doesn’t mean there is no hope. The concept of implicit memory can help people understand their experience and feel less shame. And fortunately, our understanding of trauma has brought forth a variety of new therapies that encourage reintegration of implicit memories and healing.
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“I Feel Fat.”
If you are a woman, chances are you have heard those three words today. Or maybe you thought them yourself. But what do these words mean? It can mean many different things for different women depending on their life experiences. In every case however, these meanings have their origin in implicit memories (see previous blog). Implicit memories are “experienced” as a combination of body sensations, feelings and beliefs. They are body memories often without a conscious story. So if we really want to understand and help the client’s experience when they say “I Feel Fat,” then we have to ACCESS the implicit memory. We have to use the language of the body to find the story. How do we do that? The acronym S-I-F-T provides some clues. Each letter stands for a different dimension of our lived experience. This process, coined by Dan Siegel in The Mindful Brain, involves using mindfulness to learn from our bodies. Sensations—How is your body responding when you “feel fat”? Notice what is happening in your body in the present moment—muscle tension, heat, movement, or stillness. Images--What images or memories come to you when you calmly focus on “feeling fat”? Notice what other images and memory snippets your body starts to connect to. Feelings—what emotions are actually present with the”feeling” of fat? Sadness? Anger? Shame? Try to stay in the stance of observing with curiosity. Thoughts—what thoughts, words, and beliefs bubble up as you become focused on “feeling fat.” Allow an open, non-judgmental attitude. S-I-F-T can surprise clients. Suddenly underlying meanings and connections are revealed. When I work with female clients who state “I Feel Fat,” we begin with becoming more calm, curious and mindful. This calms our physiology down and sets the stage for learning. For one woman, “I feel fat” leads to a sensation of nausea and shame. The body sensation of nausea leads her to memories of tense lunches where she was teased about her weight during grade school. “I Feel Fat” was the way she had labeled the stored memories and related feelings of fear and helplessness. Standard techniques can still be employed in therapy for body image and eating issues, but guided mindfulness can be a kind of detective work that allows us to directly work with the body’s story. Want to learn more about working with eating disorders? If you live in the greater Louisville area, please join the Kentucky Psychological Association on Friday, May 16 from 9-5. A panel of speakers that includes therapists, dietitians and physicians will discuss their ideas about the treatment of eating disorders. I am excited to be one of the presenters and will focus on the mind/body connection. Here’s the link: http://www.kpa.org/events/event_details.asp?id=421020 How many of us often feel tangled up in the past?
In my last blog, I discussed the power that implicit memories have in keeping the trauma of the past in our bodies. When we are triggered, stored implicit memories can create powerful sensations of fear, anxiety, confusion and anger. Often these experiences don't make sense, and we end up feeling weak or weird. For example, we might get triggered with dread and anxiety by sitting in a doctor's waiting room because we are reminded of another visit when we underwent a painful procedure. What people often do is just try to grit their teeth and get through it. Later, they hope they don't have to go back to the doctors again--and perhaps even avoid the doctors office! Innovators in the field are bringing together what we are learning about the brain to find ways to heal traumatic memories. I have been fortunate to train in several of these exciting therapies. One of the most powerful, sensorimotor psychotherapy, was created by Pat Ogden. Pat has woven together elements of attachment theory, Pierre Janet's insights, Levine's somatic experiencing, and the wisdom of Ron Kurtz's Hakomi method. It's a rich therapeutic approach indeed. Soon Louisville will be honored with a visit from Janina Fisher, Ph.D., a lead trainer in sensorimotor psychotherapy and a trauma expert in her own right!I have had the privilege of studying with her "webinar" style for 4 years. Janina has many helpful suggestions for therapists when working with implicit memory. Consider these examples: **Notice and pay attention to how clients' bodies show implicit memory and then name it for them. While direct training in somatic therapies helps fine-tune this skill, all clinicians can begin to track changes in skin color, averted gazes, muscular tension, shifts in mood, and/or subtle body movements. It's incredible how both clients and therapists have learned to tune this important data out as we focus only on language. **Encourage clients to mindfully notice what they are experiencing. In sensorimotor psychotherapy, therapists are encouraged to coach clients to become aware of all the ways implicit memories can impact us. What are clients sensing in their bodies? What images or memories are coming up? What are they feeling? Are they experiencing impulses to move in a certain way? These are clues to how implicit trauma memories are living in us, and the ability to notice and describe these kinds of experiences provides an avenue for further exploration. **Stay curious. Janina Fisher stresses that it is paramount for the therapist to remain open and even playful when sitting with traumatized clients. Being non-judgemental allows clients to collect data from their bodies in the true spirit of mindfulness, allowing them to get to what the body-heart-mind are needing to heal. If these ideas intrigue you, you should further explore the work of Janina Fisher, Ph.D.and Pat Ogden, Ph.D. The sensorimotor psychotherapy website has articles and training opportunities. I highly recommend training in this method (www.sensorimotorpsychotherapy.org). Janina Fisher's website is packed full of articles and tools, www.janinafisher.com. AND if you are within the greater Louisville area, register to see Janina lead a workshop "Healing Broken Bonds: Traumatic Attachment and Affect Regulation" on March 19th!!! For more details see below www.kpa.org/events/event_details.asp?id=387978&group= |
AuthorKathleen Dine, Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist interested in helping you find balance and peace. I enjoy connecting you to the fascinating world of psychology. ArchivesCategories |